A Matter of Honor
by Saravien
Summary: *complete* Misunderstanding, argument, and love...What Seiftis would be complete without them? Read and Review!
1. Jumping to Conclusions

Disclaimer: Don't own em, blah, blah, blah.

**A Matter of Honor**

Quistis Trepe sighed softly, looking over at the perfect features of the man who lay in bed beside her. She breathed deeply, willing the intoxicating scent of him to fill her being. Smiling, she ran a delicate finger down his arm, reveling in the simple touch.  

            "Seifer," she whispered. "I know you're not asleep…" She could tell by the little crease above his eyebrows that never seemed to fade away except in his slumber. 

Seifer Almasy cracked one jade green eye open at her, the sight of her there beside him still able to take his breath away after nearly a year together. Her honey colored hair was spread about her face in a tousled golden halo, and the brilliant cerulean of her eyes stood out even in the darkened room.

"Mmmm….Yes?"

Quistis looked down, snuggling closer to him. "I've been thinking a lot lately…"

"About?"

"Well….do you ever think about the future?"

"I try not to."

"Oh…"

Several silent moments passed while Quistis gathered her thoughts and her courage.       

"SeeD's usually don't live past their thirty-fifth birthday," she began slowly. "It's a dangerous life, when any given day might be our last. Do you ever think about how important every single day is? Every meeting, every contact, every afternoon spent with a friend, every evening spent with a lover…"          

A sensation Seifer was unused to feeling clutched it's icy hand around his heart. He sat up on his side, turning to look fully at her. "What are you trying to say?"          

He hadn't meant to sound so bitter, but he knew as soon as the words were spoken he'd let his fear show through. She looked a little taken aback by the bite in his voice.

"I…I'm just trying to say that, well, time is valuable—"

Seifer sat up, unwilling to hear any more. "So valuable you needn't spend every moment with me. Don't bother to explain, Quistis, I understand."

Quistis blinked. "What?"

"Oh, sorry to steal away the pleasure of saying it yourself," he snapped, grabbing his clothes off the back of the chair at her desk. "Let me see if I can get it right. We're young, but we might die any day, so we really shouldn't restrict ourselves to just each other. After all, what might we be missing?"

"No, Seifer, wait—"

"Oh, I'm sure you had a really lovely speech prepared, _Instructor," he bit out, "but I really should be going. All those other fish to catch, after all." In a flurry of grey trenchcoat, Seifer stormed out of Quistis's dorm room. _

She was left staring at an empty room, in a bed suddenly made cold by his absence. Crystalline tears formed at the edges of her sapphire orbs as she sat there, holding his pillow in her hands, wondering what the hell just happened.

"Seifer?" she whispered as the tears escaped their blue prison to slide down her cheeks. "I…I was going to say we should get married…."

* * * *

Seifer stopped in front of his dorm room, taking a deep breath and resting one hand against the door. His eyes were burning, his face flushed, and he felt suddenly weak in the knees as it hit him what had just happened.

_I left her…His troubled thoughts led him to a memory, of a conversation from earlier that day…_

_"You're incapable of doing anything but hurting her," the angry woman in a crisp SeeD uniform snapped. "I suppose you think you're real slick, using her as your ticket back into this place."_

_"That's not how it happened!" he shouted back. A year with Quistis had done much to teach him about controlling his temper, but this woman here was pushing his limits._

_Mostly because, deep down inside, he feared what she spoke was truth…_

_"Oh, really? Everyone else might have forgiven you, lapdog__, but I will never forget. You are not good enough for Quistis. You are nothing but a monster."_

He ran a nervous hand through his short blonde hair. _What have I done? _

_Your worst. Just like always. _

_I over-reacted._

_You're just a screw up, Almasy._

_Lapdog. _

_Worthless…_

_This was for Quistis. She'll be much better off without me._

With an angry growl, Seifer stormed into his room. 

Author's Note: Well, guys, here it is, my very first Seiftis. What do you think? Scrap it? Keep going? Make it as short as originally planned? Make it an epic? Let me know!!!


	2. Roses and....Porno?

_Leering faces took shape out of the darkness, shrieking their insults in a twisted disharmony of voices. _

_            Laughing._

_            They were all laughing at him._

_            All of them were there. Squall, Rinoa, Selphie, Irvine, Zell, Xu, Cid, Matron, Fujin, Raijin, along with a mob of unfamiliar faces clad in SeeD uniforms. The discordant sound of their taunting grated on his ears, leaving bloody trails down his soul._

_            "Lapdog!" Zell shouted._

_            "Too pathetic to be a knight," Squall sneered, putting an arm around his sorceress._

_            "You failed me." This from Edea, who stared at him with evil eyes._

_            "You'll only make Quistis miserable," Xu laughed. _

_            Fujin glared at him. "FAILURE. PATHETIC."_

_            "Ya really blew it, y'know?"_

_            "Blow him to smithereens!" Selphie clapped giddily._

_            "No," __Irvine__ grinned, "better yet. Look, Seifer. Gaze upon your fate."_

_Irvine__ pointed, and the crowd parted to allow him a clear view. A trail of tiny white pills led up concrete steps to a platform, where sat an executioner's block. A figure stood there, holding a gleaming gunblade, waiting for him. Slowly the figure reached up and pulled off its hood._

_            Quistis._

            "No!"

            Seifer sat in his bed, the sheets tangled around his bare legs, drenched in a cold sheen of sweat. He blinked, focusing on the glaring red digits on his alarm clock, and waited while the room stopped spinning.

            _Just a dream, Almasy. Taking a deep breath he got out of bed and stumbled towards the bathroom. __It's__ gonna be a long day…_

            Quistis drifted her way through the chattering throng of students choking the cafeteria for the morning breakfast rush, expertly balancing her cup of coffee and spilling not a drop as she found herself at the table where Selphie, Irvine, and Zell were already gulping down their meals. 

            "Hi Quisty!" Selphie chirped, waving to her friend as Quistis seated herself. "Well?"

            Quistis didn't bother to look over at the young brunette. "Well what?" Her voice was tired, strained, as if she had no heart for the conversation.

            "Did you talk to him yet?" 

            "Sort of…"

            Selphie frowned. "Sort of? What does that mean?" Then a look of understanding and sympathy dawned on her face. "Oh, no! He said no, didn't he?"

            Quistis sighed. "No. He didn't say no."

            "Oh. Well…that's good, right?"

            "I suppose."

            A long pause. 

            Finally Quistis realized that Selphie was going to continue to stare at her patiently until she explained her comment. "I started the conversation, but I never got to ask him. He got mad and stormed out before I got that far."

            "Oh, Quisty…" Selphie murmured softly. "I'm sorry. Why'd he get mad?"

            Now it was Quistis's turn to frown. "I…I'm not sure. I guess he thought I was trying to break up with him. I mean, I could see how he might have misinterpreted what I said….but he really took me by surprise. Started yelling, and stormed out." Quistis had promised herself she wouldn't cry, but talking to Selphie suddenly made the events seem real. It took much of the blonde SeeD's self control to contain her tears within her brilliant blue eyes. 

            Selphie didn't miss the glimmer of wetness, however. She put an arm around Quistis, then glanced up. 

            "Quisty, look," she whispered softly. Quistis turned.

Seifer was walking across the cafeteria in their direction. There was something different in his walk, however. Something about the way he carried himself that Quistis had never seen before. It was several heartstopping moments of studying him before it occurred to her what it was.

Uncertainty.

He nodded slightly at Selphie before laying a white rose on the table in front of Quistis. He leaned down, kissed her forehead softly, then walked away.

_"Oh, Larana, these are beautiful," Quistis said in quiet wonder, reaching with her free hand to touch a silky white bloom. _

_"They are, aren't they?" a voice that was not Larana's answered. Quistis turned to view the speaker._

_Glass shattered against stone as Quistis's nerves failed her for the span of a heartbeat, the time it took to recognize the figure who had silently joined her and her friend. _

_"Oh, Quisty, this is the house guest I mentioned earlier," Larana stated, apparently oblivious to the silent exchange going on between the two._

_Quistis took a deep breath, trying to find some immediate distraction from the unpleasant thoughts and emotions unexpectedly surfacing. She looked down at the glass she had dropped, and stooped to pick it up._

_"Here, Ms. Trepe," Seifer said softly, kneeling down with her. "Let me help you with that."_

Quistis was left staring at the rose, feeling more confused than before.  _But was that affection? I mean, he just walked away without saying anything…Was this apology? Or is it goodbye?_

Her coffee had never tasted so bitter.

            Without really thinking about it, Seifer found himself wandering into the practice gym. In his mind, this was not necessarily a bad thing; physical exertion could be just what he needed to sort out his thoughts. 

            _And it's not like I can run and beat up Puberty Boy anymore. Seifer sighed softly. He had just reached the practice mat and shed his trenchcoat when he realized he wasn't alone in the gym._

            "Hey, man," a volatile ball of energy named Zell Dincht waved. Since Quistis had managed to convince Seifer to stop calling him Chicken Wuss—to his face, anyway—his relationship with the tattooed martial artist had improved greatly, although Zell still annoyed the hell out of him. 

            As much out of habit as anything else, Seifer kept his tone neutral and civil. "Zell. In here for practice?"

            "Nah. Just trying to work off those last five hotdogs." Zell grinned at him, but frowned as he took a closer look at Seifer's face. "Man, you look like hell."

            "Thanks." Seifer saw no point in keeping the sarcasm out of his voice after that comment. "You're looking crappier than ever, yourself."

            "No, I mean it. You look terrible. You sick?"

            Seifer frowned. He had not come here to chat with Chicken Wuss about his problems. 

            _That's right, the little voice in his head spoke up. __You don't need__ to talk to anyone. That's why you don't have any friends. Oo, the Great Seifer Almasy. You're such a jackass, he probably wouldn't care anyway. He is just a Chicken Wuss._

_            Just to spite that damned voice, Seifer sat down slowly on the bench. "Me and Quistis had a fight."_

            Zell blinked. He hadn't really expected the Great Seifer Almasy to actually want to _talk to him. __Better mark this one on the calendar. "What about?"_

            "I…uh…I thought she was trying to break up with me. She started talking about how SeeD's die young, and how every day was precious and all that crap."

            Zell smacked his forehead. "You idiot. She wasn't trying to break up with you!"

            "I started to wonder that myself…She seemed really upset this morning in the cafeteria. She tried to stop me from leaving…so I thought maybe I was…that she meant something else." 

            Zell bit his lip. _He knew what Quistis had been trying to tell him…but he wasn't sure if he should spill it and ruin it for her. "Why don't you go ask her?"_

            Seifer stared at him. _Did Chicken Wuss just say something that made sense? _

            After a long moment, Seifer stood up. "Yeah. That's what I'll do." He strode out of the gym without another word or glance at Zell. 

            "Well," Zell sighed softly to the empty gym. "Guess that's twenty bucks I owe Selphie."

            _Knock knock._

_            Quistis groaned, flinging a pillow in the general direction of the door. "Go away!" _

            "Quisty?" Selphie's sing song voice pierced the steel construction. "We know you're in there!"

            Quistis sighed. "What do you want, Selphie?" 

            "Let us in! We're the cheer brigade, come to cheer you up!"

            Quistis rolled her eyes, but realized from previous experiences that Selphie could and would camp in front of her door until she let them in. As expected, poor Irvine stood behind her carrying an armload of snacks, soda, and…video tapes?

            Selphie bounced into the room and immediately made herself comfortable on Quistis's sofa. Irvine gratefully dumped his load onto the coffee table, trying not to let anything spill out onto the floor. Quistis sat down beside Selphie with a resigned sigh. 

            "Well, what is it this time?" she asked. "Chick flick? Hard action with a whole cast of really 'hot' guys?"

            "Nope!" Selphie grinned, selecting one of the tapes and handing it to Irvine. "Home movies! Tee-hee!" 

            Fear clutched Quistis's stomach. "Of?"

            "The graduation ball, of course! Who can forget getting to see Seifer in a uniform!"

            "Ah." That was actually not one of the worst things Selphie could have brought, although Quistis was quite certain seeing Seifer would probably do more to make her cry than cheer her up. Especially on that day. 

            But Quistis was definitely not prepared for the graphic display of nude bodies that suddenly appeared on her television screen.

            Seifer paused outside of Quistis's door, taking a deep breath to gather his thoughts. He lifted his hand to knock on the door when he heard something.

            "Oh, my god, Irvine!" 

            Quistis's voice. Shrieking at the top of her lungs.

            There were more sounds….He pressed his ear against the door.

            Anger boiled in Seifer's heart as understanding dawned on him. _Irvine__, of all people! Well, fuck you, Quistis. I hope you have a good fucking life. He stormed off down the corridor. _

            "Irvy!" Selphie shrieked after regaining her hearing from Quistis's shout in her ears. Irvine was frantically pushing buttons, but some demon had possessed the VCR. Finally he simply pulled the plug. 

            A long, tense silence ensued, broken finally by Selphie's nervous giggle. "Well, Quisty, did that make you feel any better?"


	3. Decision Made

            Seifer splashed cold water on his face, hoping the icy water would rinse away some of his demons. It was to no avail as he found himself still staring at a haunted face. 

            _Knock, knock._

            "Seifer!" a sing song voice cut into his solitude. He stalked into the living room and glared at the door, willing his visitor to go away. 

            No such luck.

            "I know you're in there, I heard you turn the water off!"

            "Go away, Selphie," Seifer growled, scowling at the closed door. The last person he wanted to deal with right now was that hyperactive ball of annoying joy.

            "Nope! Not until you talk to me."

            "And why should I?"

            "Because it's about Quistis!"

            Seifer's scowl deepened, but his curiosity was piqued. Had Selphie somehow learned of the affair, too?"

            Selphie was quite surprised when the door opened much sooner in the exchange then she'd anticipated, finding herself dragged into the room and placed before a glowering Seifer Almasy.

            "Talk," he ordered, "and make it quick."

            "Well, y'know how Quisty's been all mopey lately and she tried to tell you last night, but you ran off before she could and—"

            "Selphie."

            "What?"

            "I already know."

            Selphie blinked. "You do? Oh, that's great!"

            "Great?!" he exclaimed. "You think it's great that your boyfriend is cheating on you with my girlfriend?"

            "It's just that, she didn't want to—what?" Selphie gaped at him.

            "Yeah. That's probably where they are right now, just like twenty minutes ago when I _almost was dumb enough to apologize."_

            She continued to stare at him for several moments before bursting into laughter.

            Seifer frowned. "What is your problem? What is so funny?"

            "Oh, no, it's just…" Selphie wiped a tear from her eye. "Irvy's not cheating on me. I was there, too."

            "What!" Seifer exploded. She held her hands up in defense. At that moment she noticed Hyperion sitting on the desk and figured she'd better explain quickly.

            "No, no! What you heard was a tape!"

            "Of Quistis shrieking 'oh, my god, Irvine!'?"

            Selphie couldn't contain a giggle. "_That was her reaction to the tape. We went to cheer her up 'cause she's really bummed, and meant to bring the tape of your graduation, but Irvy brought the wrong tape."_

            _It all makes a twisted kind of sense, Seifer thought, closing his eyes. __Wait a minute… "'Bummed'? Why?" His thoughts strayed to a small bottle sitting in his medicine cabinet._

            "Because of you. She tried to tell you last night, but you didn't give her the chance, and now she's afraid to. She wants you to ask her to marry you."

            Seifer sat down.

            He could deal with roaming monsters, renegade spies, runaway trains, and a free range Chicken Wuss, but all this emotional turmoil was a bit much.

            Selphie moved towards the door. "I'm gonna go now." She paused, then looked back at him. In a tone more serious than he had ever heard from her before, she spoke quietly. "Listen, Seifer. I'm not real fond of you. Yeah, you've done a lot to redeem yourself, but I still half expect you to turn on us any day. Still, I want to see you two back together, because you make Quistis happy."

            Seifer stared at the door for many long moments after she left. _Happy?_

_            He got up and stalked to the bathroom. Opening up the medicine cabinet, he took out a small bottle. He ran his fingers over the label as he had a thousand times in the last two weeks, reading the name again. _

            Trepe, Quistis, S.R.24.I-14

            "If I make you so happy, Quisty," he asked the empty room softly, "then what do you need these for?"

            _"Do I scare you, Quistis?"_

_            The question seemed so unexpected and out of place where they stood, knee deep in mud, wrestling with the overturned cart. Quistis gave a shaky laugh._

_            "No, of course not."_

_            "Oh?" Seifer moved closer to her, so close she could feel the heat he radiated even through the chilling rain. "Tell me the truth, now…"_

_            She looked up at him, blinking through the rain at jade green eyes, taken a bit by surprise by the intensity she found in them. She believed she'd never seen Seifer so serious, or so earnest. _

_            "I…yes. Yes, Seifer, you scare me."_

_            Seifer smiled, a sad smile with only a touch of a remorseful smirk. "Why?"_

_            "Because…I'm not afraid of you. You scare me because I'm not afraid of you, even though I should be. I should __hate you, but I…"_

_            Seifer searched her face for a long, hungry moment. "But?"_

_            "But I don't hate you."_

            Rinoa Heartilly sat typing away at a library computer terminal, working frantically on a term paper due the next morning. She was so absorbed in her work that she almost didn't notice the sulking shadow slip up behind her.

            Almost.

            "What do you want, Seifer," she asked. One of the benefits of her emerging sorceress powers was an ability to sense aura signatures, meaning she couldn't be snuck up on. 

            "A favor…."

            Rinoa stopped typing and turned around to view her ex-boyfriend. His shoulders were slumped, and he was twiddling his thumb nervously, as if searching for the familiar feel of a gunblade trigger. "I'm listening."

            "I, uh, well…I think I made a mess of things…Quistis—we had a fight, sort of. And it gave me time to think, and now I need your help…"

            A sense of dread draped itself about Rinoa's small shoulders. Rumors had been flying like crazy today, and though she had tried to pass them off as nonsense, a few had stuck with her. 

            _"Rinoa, I heard Seifer still has a thing for you."_

_            "Yeah, that's why he broke up with Quistis."_

_            "You guys are imagining things, he and I are so over."_

_            "I don't know, Rin."_

            "I made a mistake, and now I need to fix it."

            "Seifer, stop," Rinoa said, not willing to hear whatever he had to say next. "I don't know why you think I'm the one, but you've got to stop fooling yourself. Quisty really cares about you, and I'm not going to sit by and watch you hurt her, too."

            For a very brief moment, Seifer's mask dropped to display an outraged gasp of surprise before a scowl took its place. "What are you talking about, Rinoa?"

            She sighed. "Everyone's talking about you leaving Quistis. And I'm telling you that was the mistake."

            Understanding crept its way across Seifer's face. "You think I left her for you?" He laughed, a short, harsh bark. "You're crazy."

            Rinoa blinked. Relief flooded her heart. "You didn't?"

            "No!" Seifer continued to chuckle, his nervous energy pouring itself into laughter. Rinoa frowned. He could see she was starting to get angry, and he couldn't resist the opportunity to push her. "You're so bloody self-centered, Rin. Grow up."

            It had been a long day for Rinoa. Term papers, exams, endless practice and a grueling apprenticeship with Edea to learn to control her sorceress powers, all wrapped up with a relationship running rampant with _issues had taken their toll on the normally level headed young woman. _

            And she was finished with the supreme attitude of one Seifer Almasy.

            "You're right," she snapped, "I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sure you left Quisty because now you've got everything you wanted, and you don't need her anymore, you fucking heartless bastard."

            "Heartless?" Seifer growled back. "I came in here to talk to you because of my damned heart."

            "Sure you did. Seifer Almasy, always thinking with his _heart. Following that romantic dream and all. What part of your heart were you following when you threw me in with Adel?"_

            "Very original, _sorceress, bring that up. What about you?" Seifer was shouting now, and the librarian looked very unwilling to tell either of them to be quiet, choosing instead to slip out of the library._

            "Me?"

            "Yeah, you. After all, _you were the one that broke the seals on her tomb!"_

            Rinoa's mouth opened and closed a few times without any sound as she tried to vocalize her rage. "That wasn't me! I was possessed!"

            "So was I!" Seifer roared back.

            An eerie silence followed as Rinoa stared at him, feeling weak in the knees. All this time, she had always believed he'd done everything willingly. A Knight was supposed to be willing, wasn't he? He had returned to Garden under the pretense of rehabilitation. Never had anyone said he had not been in control of his actions. Certainly not him. 

            She understood. It hurt his pride, his sense of being, to think that he had been weak enough to be controlled. Perhaps _that was why he had avoided her like the plague all this time. _

            "I'm sorry," she finally said meekly. 

            Seifer was tired, and he really didn't want to fight with Rinoa. "I'm sorry, too."

            "Wow."

            "What?"

            "You really have changed, Seifer." Rinoa was studying him quietly now. Never before would Seifer have said he was sorry, even if he was. _Quistis has been really good for you. "What did you want help with?"_

            Seifer smiled. "I need your help picking out a ring for Quistis."


	4. Stars

            Quistis's heels clicked solemnly across the floor as she walked down the hall towards the dorms. She had been all over Garden, and no one seemed to know where Seifer was. 

            Or Rinoa, for that matter.

            As she walked around past the training center, she spotted Zell coming from the garage. _There's someone I haven't asked. She waved to get the boy's attention. _

            "Oh, hey, Quisty," Zell grinned with his usual exuberance. 

            "Zell," she replied, repeating the same words she must have said a hundred times already today. "Have you seen Seifer?"

            Immediately she could tell that he knew something. His mouth did that quirky thing and he looked past her instead of at her. "Um…not lately."

            "When was the last time you saw him?"

            "Uh…this morning. Yeah. At breakfast."

            "Do you know where he is right now?"

            "Right now?"

            "Yes."

            "Uh…No. I don't know exactly where he is right now."

            Quistis's brow furrowed. "Zell."

            "I don't!"

            "Is he in Garden?"

            Zell stared at the fountain.

            "Zell."

            _Dammit, Zell thought, __I can't lie to her...She knows me better than that. Ah! Seifer's gonna kill me. "No. He went to Balamb." _

            "Oh. That's not a big deal, Zell, you could've just said so to begin with."

            "Sure, Quisty. Look, I've gotta run before all the hot dogs are gone. See ya!" And with that Zell escaped before his big mouth got him in any trouble. 

            Quistis puzzled over his words after he had dashed away. _So he went to Balamb. No big deal. But Zell was definitely hiding something…Quistis stopped in her tracks. __Wait. No one has seen Rinoa today, either. Matron mentioned she wasn't coming to practice today. What if…? She had heard the rumors, too, but up until now had completely disregarded them. Quistis all but ran to the garage. She barged into the office, surprising the cadet assigned to the books for the day. _

            "Can I help, Ms. Trepe?" he asked, gathering himself up. She recognized him immediately. 

            "Sure, Ken," she smiled. "I need to ask a question. Did Seifer Almasy sign out a car today?" Technically, the cadet wasn't supposed to tell her anything. She wasn't an instructor any more, and didn't currently have any authorization to pull vehicle records. But she knew one thing.

            Ken was a Trepie. 

            "Yes, Ms. Trepe, he did."

            "Was he alone?"

            "No, ma'am." Ken was more than happy to help her out, if it might mean Quistis Trepe would once again become available on the dating market. "He went with Rinoa Heartilly."

            Seifer breathed a deep sigh of relief as they finally exited the jewelry shop, his precious purchase tucked safely away from the brightly offending afternoon sun. The small shop and the stuck up old woman behind the counter had given him a headache, and the blinding light of day served to sharpen the pain. He slipped a pair of sunglasses on and turned to look at Rinoa. 

            Observing the raven haired beauty who walked beside him, he was reminded briefly of their summer in Deling, but knew there were many intimate differences. They were both different people now, much older people, each with a gift carried in their hearts for another, a similarity which made them all the closer.

            "Thanks, Rin," he said softly. She turned and smiled at him.

            "No problem, Seif," she responded, glancing at her watch. _Squall is a lucky man, Seifer thought. He thought of the top of a velvet black box peeking out of his pocket. __And so am I._

_            "Want to get something to eat before we head back?" he asked._

            "Yes! I am so sick of hot dogs, I've been seriously contemplating trying the mystery meat!" 

            Seifer chuckled as he opened the door to a small diner. They found a table and ordered drinks. While they waited, Rinoa looked over at him.

            "So, Seifer, I have never heard….In fact, I don't think anyone has ever heard. How did you and Quistis get together?"

            Seifer looked down at the table, remembering. That day seemed like an eternity ago…

            _"Here we are," he said softly, turning to watch her climb the last few steps to the top of the gently rounded hill. He watched her face anxiously as she looked around, looking for her reaction._

_            Quistis's breath caught in her throat at the spectacular sight. The hill itself was covered in short, lush grass and scatterings of wildflowers, and its height offered a wonderful vantage point from which to view the forest that surrounded them. Not a bit of civilization in sight, no cars, no towns, no people. Just them and the trees._

_            And the sky! The dome of star-speckled black velvet spread out forever, making Quistis feel very small, yet at the same time making her feel as if her soul was soaring. The stars twinkled more brightly tonight than she ever remembered, while the silver light of the moon covered the landscape in a shimmering blanket. _

_            She turned cerulean eyes on him, a smile spread across her face. "It is beautiful," she whispered._

_            Seifer smiled back at her. He felt strange, light, as if he suddenly weighed far less. Perhaps the burden of guilt had flown from him, at least for the evening's sake. He pulled out an old, worn blanket and spread it on the grass. _

_            Quistis's hand tingled where he grasped it as he led her to sit on the blanket. Then he flopped back unceremoniously, spread out to fully view the canvas of night._

_            Imagine, Seifer Almasy stargazing, __Quistis thought with a giggle as she lay down beside him._

_            Imagine, Quistis Trepe giggling, __Seifer thought with equal bemusement. _

_            "That one there," he said, breaking the silence after several awe filled moments. "That's Bahamut, king of dragons. And over there," he pointed, "there's Orion, the hunter."_

_            "And there," she spoke, "is the Sorceress's Knight."_

_            Immediately she felt as if she'd made a mistake. Seifer was silent for a long time._

_            "Seifer, I'm sorry…"  
            "No," he replied. "Don't be. I failed. I accept that. My failure wasn't in the battle, but in the side I ended up on. Perhaps I failed because…I didn't think, I only felt. Perhaps I failed because I was weak. But whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. I believe that, Quisty. Maybe I don't need a sorceress to be a Knight."_

_            A long, comfortable silence ensued. The moon continued its climb to the summit of the heavens, its light giving Quistis thoughts to ponder._

_            "The __midnight__ sky must love the moon," Seifer spoke, interrupting her musings. _

_            "What?" she blinked. _

_            "Think about it. While the night sky has stars all the time, they're just little twinkling lights. They don't really illuminate anything. But the moon…The moon is a silver light that fills the __midnight__'s existence, bringing it life."_

_            Quistis rolled up on her side to stare at him. "Seifer Almasy, I can't believe that just came out of your mouth."_

_            Seifer felt his face flush. "Sorry, I knew it was stupid," he mumbled._

_            "No, no!" Quistis shook her head. "It wasn't stupid! It was just unexpected to hear poetry coming from you. It was…It was beautiful."_

_            He turned to look at her, and found her face was much closer than he'd thought. He found himself drowning in azure pools, could hear his heart pounding away in his ears. He could no longer fight the draw of her presence. Her eyes, her smile, her perfect form, her full red lips drew him in, until finally their lips touched…_

_            And in the darkness, two lonely souls found their way home._

            "Seifer?" Rinoa waved a hand in front of his face. "You in there?"          

            "Mmm? Yeah. Stargazing."

            "What?"

            "Stargazing. That's how we got together."

            "Oh." And thankfully, Rinoa didn't ask for any elaboration. Seifer never wanted to belittle that night with mere words.

            Quistis wandered her way towards the dorms, feeling lost and lonely. So Seifer had gone to Balamb with Rinoa. She'd heard all the rumors flying around about how he'd left her because he was still hung up on Rinoa. It wasn't the only rumor making its run, and she'd reacted to it much the same way she'd imagined Squall had. She shrugged, thinking it utter nonsense and the result of cadets with too much time on their hands. 

            But now…Now she wasn't so certain. Seifer rarely left Garden for anything, yet here he'd run off to Balamb with Rinoa. The thoughts just kept circling around Quistis's mind, making her eyes burn and her head swim. 

            As she came around a bend she spotted someone walking towards her. Relief flooded her heart. Here was someone who didn't need her to be strong anymore. She'd been strong for him as children, but now he was the commander. Now he was the strong one. And now she needed his strength. Without a word of warning she flung herself at him, no longer able to contain her anguish. 

            Squall Leonhart frowned in puzzlement at the sobbing woman he found himself holding. He didn't have to ask _why. He'd heard all the rumors already, and had subsequently assigned many cadets with new cleaning duties to keep their hands busy since they seemed to have so much free time. But Quistis had a tendency to care a little too much about what others thought of her and said about her.  _

No, he was puzzled because he wasn't really sure what to do. _Hmm…what would Rinoa do? No, I couldn't, I'm rotten at it. _

_Well, how are you ever going to get better if you don't try? A voice that sounded suspiciously like Rinoa demanded in his head. _

_Okay, okay, give me a break already.  He put his hand under her chin, making her look up at him. "Quisty," he said gently, "you want to come back to my room and talk about it?"_

Quistis blinked. Squall wanted to _talk? She glanced around looking for the ice, for surely she was already in hell. Finding none, she gave him a small, bitter smile. "Sure. Yes." She bit back a sob. "I'd love that."_


	5. Doing it in Public

            "You want something to drink?"            

            Quistis nodded faintly as she sat on the couch in Squall's not-so-modest quarters. _Guess being commander has some perks, she thought as she looked around the spacious rooms. _

            Squall poured her a glass of juice and brought it to her. "I'll be right back," he said, walking into the bedroom. He picked up the phone sitting next to his bed and dialed Rinoa's cell phone.

            Three rings later the happy-go-lucky voice of his girlfriend answered on the other end. "Squally!" she exclaimed. "What's up!"

            "Um…Well, I have a problem. Where are you?"

            "Oh, I…I'm in Balamb. Remember?"

            "Yeah, I forgot. Speaking of your little errand, Quistis is here."

            "She's there? Why?"

            "Well…I ran into her in the hall. She was upset, and I didn't know what to do, so I asked her if she wanted to come back here and talk about it."

            "That's so great!" she chirped. "I knew you had it in you."

            "Don't be so sure…Now she's here and I don't know what to do."

            Rinoa knew it was hard for Squall to admit when he didn't know something, so rather than tease him about his lack of social skills, she racked her brain for the best advice she could give him. "Well…just let her talk. Pay attention to what she says…but don't say too much. Try to keep your foot out of your mouth." She giggled.

            Squall sighed. That wasn't much help. "All right. Thanks anyway."

            "We'll be back soon, honey, and then Seifer'll be fixin' her right up! So just keep her from getting too depressed in the mean time."

            "Bye."

            "Bye-bye, sweetie."

            When he returned to the living room, Quistis had barely drunk any of the juice, instead staring at the glass and fiddling nervously. She looked up and gave him a wan smile as he sat down on the couch next to her. 

            "So…Quistis. What's wrong?"

            As stilted and uncomfortable as the words sounded, the simple fact that they were coming out of Squall Leonhart's mouth was enough for Quistis. She stared at a point far away on the wall as she began to talk. "We had a fight. Sort of. Hard to have a fight, really, when only one person was talking. I guess I was just stupid. Maybe I rushed him. I'd been thinking I wanted to get serious. I know how guys are, especially SeeDs. They don't ever want to get serious. I don't know why I thought Seifer would be any different. I mean, Hyne! He never even said he loved me." A tiny jewel of a tear slipped down her cheek, but she remained calm. 

"When we met again, at Larana's…he seemed like a whole new person. He was there because she took him in after her pushed her out of the way of a car. Imagine that! Seifer Almasy risked his life for someone he didn't even know. He got three cracked ribs and a broken leg for his trouble. His leg had just come out of the cast when I'd come to visit. How was he to know Larana was an old classmate of mine? She left Garden to have a family and a normal life. I found out as soon as he was able to get out of bed he was working, helping people out around town at whatever odd job they needed help with. 

"Here was this man that I was supposed to hate, shedding blood and sweat and tears in an effort to gain his redemption, if only with a small group of farmers in a little nowhere village. Each day I was there, I learned something new about him…and I started to notice things I never had before. Then on the fourth day, he took me stargazing on a hilltop he called his. And I fell in love with him."

"Thanks again, Rin," Seifer said as they walked past the great fountain that was the center of Garden. It was just after the last class had let out, and the halls were swarming with students. 

"No problem, Seif." Rinoa looked as if she might have said more, but suddenly she was caught up by two squealing girls.

"Rin! We've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Yeah, where were you for biology?"

"I had an excused day off." 

"Oh, yeah?"

"That must be nice."

"It was." Rinoa glanced around, and realized Seifer had already escaped. _I forgot to tell him where to find Quisty. All well, I'm sure he'll find her. _

Seifer strolled down the hall to the dorms, a small smile on his lips as he thought about the task in front of him. _She sure is going to be surprised. _

Just as he managed to repress the inane urge to whistle, he came around the corner and noticed two people hugging just outside a dorm room door. He thought nothing of the occurrence, until he realized the identity of the blonde woman. 

And the scarred, grey eyed man.

"Squall," Seifer growled, relishing the effect as Quistis jumped a little, startled by the abrupt sound of his voice. "Quistis. What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Quistis turned to look at him, and he noticed her eyes were red, as if she'd been crying. She was tired and emotionally drained, and the accusatory tone in his voice served only to turn her day's torment into anger. "Hugging an old friend," she snapped. "What about you? Running around Balamb today, hmm, dear?"

Seifer's eyes narrowed. "Who told you that?"

"Does it matter? Don't avoid the subject, Seifer. What were you doing in Balamb?"

"Am I under house arrest? I can go where I damn well please!"

"Then so can I! And I can hug who I please!"

About this time Rinoa appeared, her heightened senses immediately detecting the anger crackling through the air. She made her way as discreetly as possible to stand by Squall, glaring at the crowd of students that had begun to gather for Seifer and Quistis's very public discussion. The students ignored her glares and continued to watch.

"Oh, and, so what if the huggee just _happens to be Commander __Iceheart, huh?"_

"Yeah, and so what if your companion in Balamb just _happens to be the Timber Tramp!"_

Squall scowled, and looked as if he might be ready to say something. Rinoa placed a gentle hand on his arm, shaking her head. "She's hurt and upset," she whispered to him. "She doesn't mean it. Just let them have it out."

Squall frowned, but settled back.

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" 

"Oh, really? I know that Seifer Almasy is apparently a man with secrets."

"Secrets? You want to talk about secrets? What about this?" Seifer pulled the little bottle of pills from an inside pocket of his trenchcoat and practically flung it at her. Quistis caught it deftly, inspecting the label. "Now, Ms. Trepe, would you like to tell me what the hell _that is all about?"_

Much to his discomfort, Quistis began to laugh.

"You idiot," she smiled, "is this what that fight was all about? Don't you know anything?"

Seifer's face darkened. "I know that those are anti-depressants…"

"They sure are. But look at my number! SR24? Do you know how long ago it was that I was rank 24? And if that wasn't enough! I-14! You know _exactly how long ago it was that I was an Instructor!"_

Seifer felt pretty foolish at this particular moment, and it was not an emotion he handled well. So he retorted the only way he knew how. "Whatever," he snapped. "Not like it makes any difference."

Her eyes grew cold and angry again. "No," she replied icily. "I guess it doesn't." She turned to walk away.

_Hyne! What are you doing, Almasy!_

_Screwing up.__ It is what you're best at, after all._

_She deserves better, anyway._

_Don't let her walk away!_

"I love you," he said softly to her backside. "As midnight loves the moon."

            Quistis froze. Her eyes burned, and her throat felt tight. In all this time, never had he said he loved her. Never had she expected or demanded it, and never had she spoken her emotions aloud so as not to make him feel obligated.  

Slowly she turned to face him. "A silvery light?"

            Seifer smiled, a gentle curve so far removed from the arrogant smirk he had worn for most of his life. "That fills my existence."

"Oh, Seifer…" Quistis fell into him, closing her eyes as he enveloped her, wrapping his heart around her soul even as his arms embraced her body. 

_Better do this right, Almasy._

After a moment, he pushed her away again. Confusion filled her eyes as he stepped back and fell down on one knee. Pulling the little velvet box from his pocket, he looked up at her. 

"Quistis Trepe, will you marry me?"

Quistis stared at him blankly for many long, heartstopping moments. One could have heard a pin drop as the former Instructor simply stood, her mind whirling as she grasped what was happening. Seifer felt fear's icy hand begin to creep across his chest as he waited for her to answer.

_C'mon, Quistis! _

_She doesn't love you, dumbass._

_Now you've made a fool of yourself in front of everyone._

_Shut up, he told his internal fear coldly. __I won't listen to you anymore. She does love me, and I love her, and this is how it is meant to be. _

And then she spoke.

A tiny whisper, barely audible, but in the silence that had descended upon the hallway, it rang out like a shot, to pierce the heart of everyone who stood there.

"Yes."

As the ring slipped over her finger, a cheer went up. Quistis blinked, noticing the crowd for the first time. Then she found herself the center of a hurricane of hugging and cheering and congratulating. 

And one little sentence that struck fear into her heart and Seifer's as well.

"Hey, Quisty!" Selphie's cheerful voice cut through the crowd. "You're gonna let me help you plan the wedding, right?"

END

Author's Note: Okay, okay, it's finally done. I hate it, but here it is. Hope somebody likes it! 


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